Mom-Guilt: The Thief of Self-Care (Which All Moms Need)

Written by: Caeley Brennan

May3,2021

Mom-guilt is an epidemic that has touched many if not every mom. It’s that voice in your head telling you that you should be doing more, trying harder, and being better at “x, y, & z” or you are less of a mother. It causes you to compare yourself to others or worse, to people that you follow on social media. The truth is, everyone struggles with these thoughts. Motherhood is the most taxing job in the world, and sometimes we all need to take a break. Just like your kids, you are only human. 

As a mother, you want your child to prioritize their health and wellness as they grow and mature. You want them to stick to their passions and to do things that bring them joy. The best thing you can do is lead by example. When you take time for yourself to do the things that bring you peace or joy, you are not taking away from your children. In fact, you are giving the best example to them, whether you think they are picking up on it or not. Subconsciously, they will be. 

Not only will they have an example of healthy adult habits, but in order to put your best parenting foot forward, you have to take care of yourself. We all know that in an emergency it’s important to make sure you are okay before caring for others, because you cannot help someone else if you are not well. That’s why in order to be the best parent possible, you have to take time to care for yourself! Your kids deserve the best version of you, right? Sometimes it’s hard to carve out that time. Life is crazy and moves quickly. Sometimes it feels selfish to take time away from your kids or from household duties. However big or small, any time you can take for yourself is not selfish, it’s actually just as important if not more important than any activity the kids have going on. There are two types of selfcare that are important for parents:

  1. Taking time for hobbies, passions, and specific interests.
  2. Relaxation, unwinding, and decompressing.

Both are important to make time for, even if it’s less frequent. Whatever you are passionate about, it’s great to make time for that. Whether it’s running, reading, or gaming! Some examples of small self-care activities you can do:

  • Go and see a movie by yourself
  • Buy a facemask and take those 15 minutes to read, listen to music, etc.
  • Take a long bubble bath with no interruptions! 
  • Take a workout class
  • Buy yourself that pair of shoes you have been eyeing 
  • Paint
  • Go for a 30 minute walk
  • Take a dance break
  • Pop on a guided meditation via Youtube/Podcasts/etc.
  • Go to Marshall’s and only buy things for yourself (candles, candies, and new mugs, oh my!)
  • Focus on your health and address any postpartum symptoms that you might still have. (You don’t have to pee your pants when you jump, mama.)
  • Go to your favorite bakery/sandwich shop/etc. and treat yourself!!
  • Hire someone else to do something for you. Delegate something, let go!

These are just some examples, but the best one is to look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are doing enough, you are enough, and you deserve to feel fulfilled! We have this unrealistic idea that motherhood is so fulfilling and gives people purpose… I call BS! You can love your kids and I am sure they are amazing and being a parent is amazing… but you are still an individual. You are still someone with dreams, hopes, fears, and hobbies. Don’t feel the need to put yourself aside, you can give to yourself too. If you have any further questions, contact us today!

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