Communication is Lubrication!

February is the month where we celebrate love, romance, and take the time to cherish our loved ones a little bit more than usual. It’s also the time to reflect on what makes our relationships work and remind ourselves what differentiates a healthy relationship from a toxic one. A key piece of healthy relationships that many people don’t talk about is sex. Having a sexual relationship takes work and dedication from both parties, and this is especially so when one partner is dealing with pelvic floor dysfunction. 

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Communication is lubrication! If you’ve never heard that saying before, it’s good to understand what that means. There are many contributors to what makes for enjoyable and healthy sex, but the biggest is having open and honest communication with your partner. There should be an open dialogue about what you like, what you dislike, what your boundaries are, what kind of aftercare you like, as well as the ability to speak during the act without fear of “ruining the mood.” This communication should be open, honest, and judgment-free. Being honest with your partner and listening to their needs in return makes for a safer sexual environment that only leads to better sex and a better relationship! It can be difficult to open up about these things since we are trained to see them as taboo, but it’s important to open up and ask questions. We all have different wants and different needs when it comes to sex, so it’s important not to assume that your partner knows what you need or that you know what they need without it being stated.

Communication is even more critical when one or more partners are experiencing any type of pelvic floor dysfunction because this changes the needs of that partner. In this case, it is important for the other partner to understand that pelvic floor dysfunction has no reflection on the couple’s compatibility, attraction level, or whether or not 

How to be a good partner to someone with pelvic floor dysfunction:

• Do not take their symptoms personally
• Do not make them feel bad about their symptoms or their disorder
• Do encourage them to seek professional help and support them on their journey towards recovery
• Do ask them how to make intimacy more comfortable and pleasurable
• Do reassure them
• Do communicate boundaries 
• Do not be afraid to seek counseling
• Do not pressure or rush them.
• Do make it fun and enjoyable with lube, toys, foreplay, and exploring things besides just penetration!

It can be emotional, stressful, and draining to have pelvic floor dysfunction and as their partner, it’s important to be a source of love and support. If you are the one experiencing pelvic pain or dysfunction, then it’s up to you, to be honest and upfront about your needs. It’s not easy or comfortable to talk about, but working as a team is essential to making intimacy enjoyable for everyone involved!
Overall, healthy sex life is impossible to achieve without effective communication. This is especially important if one or both partners are experiencing pelvic pain and or dysfunction. Just know that there are solutions and that you are worthy of love and pleasure! Here at Arancia Physical Therapy, we work with patients every day who experience this type of pain and are able to get them back to enjoying sex among many other things! We also encourage that partners are involved and aware of treatment so that they can be a source of support along the healing journey. If you or someone you know is struggling with pelvic floor dysfunction of any kind, feel free to email us at info@aranciapt.com or call us at (401)602-7006 so we can see if we will be the right people to help!