What We Hear at the Front Desk Will Shock You. Are You Ignoring These Pelvic Floor Red Flags?

Every week on the phone, I hear a version of the same story.

 “I leak when I sneeze but I had a baby so that’s just how it is.”

“It’s painful to have intercourse but it has been this way for years and I just try to get over it.”

“I’m going through menopause and my doctor said this is just how it’s going to be.”

“All of my testing came back negative so my doctor told me to try kegels.” 

And every time, I wish I could pause the conversation and say:

“I hear you. But just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s normal – or untreatable”.

“I’ve Been Told It’s Normal” — But That Doesn’t Mean You Have to Live With It

I can feel patients’ frustration through the phone receiver — not from a lack of effort, but from a lack of answers. Many have already run the marathon: doctor’s visits, tests, different medications, even surgery. Others have turned to friends who are nurses, read articles, listened to podcasts — doing everything they can to make sense of what’s happening in their body.

And so often, they come to me saying something like: “It’s a part of getting older, having kids, or being a woman”.

And honestly? I get it. When you’ve been told again and again that your symptoms are “normal” — especially by trusted professionals — it’s easy to start second-guessing yourself.

Maybe it’s not that bad.
Maybe this is just what happens after giving birth.
Maybe leaking a little isn’t a big deal.
Maybe painful sex is just part of life now.

But as I’ve sat here, listening to women share their stories — I’ve also had the privilege of watching those stories be rewritten through pelvic floor therapy.

So Let’s Talk About What Actually Is Common (But Not Normal) And Shouldn’t Be Dismissed

There is a difference between what is common and what’s healthy. Here are a few examples of what I hear and what might sound true to you.

“I feel pressure, like something is falling out — almost like I have a tampon in wrong. But I’m not really in pain.”

When we we are not in life- threatening pain, it’s easy to put things off. But that feeling can be a sign of pelvic organ prolapse — a condition that’s common, but often misunderstood. Another big misconception? That you have to have had children to experience it. That’s simply not true. Factors like age, genetics, obesity, or even a chronic cough can all contribute to prolapse.

And here’s the thing — prolapse doesn’t always come with sharp pain. Sometimes it’s subtle. Sometimes I hear from women who’ve been struggling with chronic back or hip pain for years, not realizing their pelvic floor might be part of the picture.

Regardless of how it shows up, it doesn’t — and shouldn’t — be ignored.
Pelvic floor therapy can help reconnect and strengthen the muscles that support your organs, reduce feelings of heaviness or pressure, and help relieve associated discomfort and pain.

“I have pain with intercourse but it’s been something I have dealt with for years”.

I can’t recount to you how often I hear this — and just as often, I hear the advice women were given when they asked for help:

“Just have a glass of wine to take the edge off.”

Pain is your body’s way of saying something isn’t right. And when it comes to sex, pain isn’t something you should just “push through” or learn to live with.

Dyspareunia — pain during intercourse — is actually very common, and very treatable. It can stem from a variety of causes: pelvic floor muscle tension, scar tissue from childbirth or surgery, hormonal changes, even past trauma.

Pelvic floor therapy addresses the root cause to help you feel safe, confident, and connected to your body again.

“I leak but I am able to live my life- as long as I know where the bathrooms are”.

This approach comes up all of the time in conversation— how women adapt to the circumstances of their incontinence by always being prepared. Making sure wherever they go has accessible bathrooms. Carrying extra pads or a change of clothes in the car. Avoiding certain activities altogether just to prevent a possible accident.

And that takes a mental toll. Constant awareness. Constant planning. Always being “on.”
It eats up so much brain space and energy that could be spent living fully — not just managing symptoms.

Incontinence — whether it happens when you sneeze, cough, laugh, jump, or feel like you have to go all the time — is common, but there are absolutely real solutions. Pelvic floor therapy can help you regain your life leak and worry free. 

“My doctor told me just to do kegels and give it time”.

I hear it time and time again — and honestly, it’s one of the things I hate hearing the most.

“Just do Kegels.”

It sounds simple, but it’s really just an educated guess. Yes, Kegels can be helpful in some cases — but they are not a one-size-fits-all fix. It’s a cookie-cutter answer to what is often a much more complex, individual issue.

Pelvic floor therapy is not about guessing- it’s about understanding you as a whole in your own unique body with its own unique needs. Through a full-body assessment, you can see how your pelvic floor is actually functioning — how it’s coordinating with the rest of your body — and take the guesswork out of treatment.

Reclaiming Your Body

This is the turning point- when I hear something like this, “It’s finally time for me to make a change,” or “I don’t want to live like this anymore,” and I know they’re in the right place.

Deciding to seek help is often a hard step — we lead busy lives, have people to care for, jobs to maintain — but that doesn’t mean our health should take a backseat.

If anything I’ve shared here resonates with you, know this: you are not alone, and it’s never too late to take ownership of your health and get the treatment you deserve.

We’re meant to live wonderful, full lives filled with happiness — not worrying about pelvic pain holding us back or wondering if we’ll make it to the bathroom in time.